Oh, a low-key friday if ever there was one. Our fake thanksgiving went off very well. Everyone brought lots of delicious food and the turkey a la Tees turned out very nice. We drank lots of wine and had some laughs and the girls started this nostalgia bullshit about 'being thankful' so Joe, James and I went out on the porch and had a smoke while that went on. Tommy, Ben, Steph, JP, Eric, Mo and I went out to the Office for a couple drinks which was nice. I came home and was just preparing for bed when a couple of the girls came over.

They had been out to Champaign drinking and were pretty belligerently drunk. They took beer from the fridge and drank it in my bed, much to my chagrin, as I was just preparing to go to bed and sleep. I left them alone in my room for a while, went out, had a smoke, and lied down on the couch to try to wait them out. They would not leave, however, so I resolved to kick them out of my room. When I went back in my room one was at the computer and another in my bed and I asked them to leave. "In a minute, fucking relax," they kept saying. I was at the end of my tether, I tell you. The one on the computer was plodding around with her email doing I don't know what. "Come on, you live a block away and you have internet," I protested, to no avail.

That's when I lost it. It was nearly 4 AM.

"Get the fuck out of my bed ------ and get out of here."

"Will, relax, we're going."

"No, get the fuck out now. I'm tired of you being here, telling secret jokes and being coy and fucking pissing me off. Get the fuck out of my bed, room and house."

They were shocked into silence for a moment, I honestly hardly ever use this kind of tone or say things like this, but I was at my wits end. And then they started screaming. I was saying these mean things quietly at least. And they screamed. They screamed awful things at me and I just tried to get them out of the house, out out. One of the girls said that she thought that I had "some shred of decency, some redeeming quality, but [she] was wrong." Needless to say they made me feel great.

And so I finally got them out. They were saying things that were true at times, but with an awful and mean edge to them that was just callous and bloodthirsty. And so now, out of practicality and not vengence, I wish to cut them completely out of my life, no matter the cost. They are sad and vapid individuals. They are manic depressive - unbelievably fun and great when they are up, but like a black hole when they are down. They are untrustworthy. They do things only to have fuel for some kind of blackmail or guilt trip later on. They bring out the worst parts of me, and make me dislike myself and my actions. This is my fault, not theirs.

I have been thinking about last night all day. I couldn't sleep after they left and was thinking about what I felt, and what I should do. My conclusion is that this explosion was an inevitable breaking point, and I choose not to be involved with them anymore.

And I'm listening to Sigur Ros