As Erich and I sit outside the English building between classes I see hippie Mitch looking confused, ambling by a tree smoking a cigarette.

'Mitch!' I yell out. He walks up. 'It's been a while.'

'Whoa, hey guys. It has been a while. There's been something missing in my life. Something big, and palpable. It's like a hole inside of my body and soul that I try to fill with drugs, and try to fill with meaningless social interactions with others.' He's grinning like a goon, with yellowed teeth and frizzy hair, and a thoroughly comical and inviting personage. 'I was missing you guys, Will and Erich!'

Erich and I burst out laughing. 'Missing my penis, you mean, right Mitch?' Erich says.

'Not so much your penis as your asshole, which is ironic. How could a hole fill a void? But here we are.'