I've turned in I think 4 or 5 different applications for jobs this week. I'm not optimistic. Who would have known that getting even the shittiest of jobs is difficult? Anyone have a job for me? I'll write for you for money, seriously. I'll write about anything. I'll do dishes. I'll serve food. I'll do payroll and organize meetings like I say I can do on my resume. I'll drive a van. I'll make deliveries. I'll shine your shoes, guv'nor.

I'll pour you a cup of coffee. I'll clean your table. I'll be the CEO of your multinatinal corporation. I'll prep you for surgery. I'll clean out the bathtub. I'll greet you at the door. I'll sell you a pack of smokes. I'll give you psychic advice on the phone.

I just want money to get to Greece. Anyone?